October 29, 2017 8:00 am
You feel all irritated, full of bitter, resentful thoughts? Thoughts that then give way to shame for being so mean-spirited? Yeah… we’ve all been there. We’ve all felt those pangs of jealousy when we see someone with that seemingly perfect career or life – new house… new job… awesome clients… baby… ring on finger etc etc etc. It’s difficult when we miss out on something or see others achieve so easily what we can’t seem to grasp, despite reaching with all our might. It’s easy in those moments to let it consume us, to let it cloud our thoughts and actions and the way we view ourselves and our place in the world as well as the way we interact with others. The ‘lucky’ ones.
I can tell you that as an ambitious and driven individual it’s totally normal to occasionally feel this way, I will also tell you that indulging in jealousy too often will do nothing other than hold you back – in all areas of your life. (No one wants to spend any time with someone who is chewed up with jealous irrational thoughts and behavioural patterns.)
Happy, successful people support and build others up, content in the knowledge that there’s room at the top for everyone.
When you’re feeling ‘unlucky’ remember that;
A) You probably have a roof over your head
B) Food on the table and
C) People that love and care for you
… Also know that at certain points, others will have looked at you and had thoughts along the lines of ‘Wow, they’re doing things I could never dream of’ and ‘If only I’d had the same ‘lucky break’ as them’.
We’ve all witnessed that apparent ‘overnight success’ but what we’ve probably missed is the 10 years prior that they’ve spent grinding it out, working towards that ‘overnight success’. Yes, people do strike it lucky, but it’s pretty rare. Most often they have spent years trying, failing and trying again.
I’m sure you already know, no one’s life (including your own) is ever just an endless string of successes, we all struggle, we all fail from time to time and ultimately we learn from those failures which lead to progression and then *ding ding ding* success! The most important thing to remember though is that we are all on completely different journeys and even if on the outside it appears that we’re on a similar path to others, we’re most certainly at different phases in that journey. Putting so much emphasis on success is like focusing on the destination but ignoring the journey to it and that’s a shame because there’s so much to enjoy in becoming a master of our chosen craft or passion.
It’s also much easier to perceive success in someone else than in our own life because it seems simple for them but complicated for us, in reality, we’re all going through the same feelings and processes. So, the opportunity that someone else got that you wanted? Perhaps it wasn’t the right time for you yet. Perhaps there’s an even better opportunity waiting for you, just around the corner – as cliched as that sounds. (Stop rolling your eyes at me.)
The next time you find yourself experiencing jealousy over someone else’ success first things first, understand that feeling that way doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you human – flaws and all. Secondly, understand that there’s room for everyone. Just because you missed out on something this time around, doesn’t mean you will always miss out, especially if it’s something you truly wish and work for. Thirdly, success isn’t a finite thing, it won’t run out and it’s most definitely possible for all of us in one form or another.
Now, allow yourself to feel it for a moment and then turn that negative energy into something positive.
1 – Write a list of all the things you could do right now to move you forward towards your goals. Knowing that you create your own future, truly believing it, is one of the most powerful tools we can possess.
2 – Be happy for those enjoying success. It’s nice to be nice and honestly, they probably deserve it. Be genuinely happy for them or at least ‘fake it, ’till you make it’ and if you’re not currently in a place where you can do either of those things, that’s totally ok too. Just double down on your own life. Continue to focus on your own sh**, become so engrossed in your own self-development that you forget to even glance at anyone else.
Before you know it, it will be you basking in that warm glow of success.
Know someone that might benefit from reading this? Feel free to forward it on, sharing is caring and we’d love to welcome more people into this little tribe of ours.