February 15, 2019 7:00 am
Let’s talk about money, money, money, money, MONEY!! (The picture I’m using is tenuous at best but let’s go with it, champagne is rich, right?!) I caught an Instagram live with Sarah Akwisombe and Jen McFarlane aka ‘The Money Medium’ a few weeks back where they were talking all about money mindset, specifically a ‘lack’ mindset – how to recognise when we’re in it and most importantly, what we can do to get out of it and into one of abundance.
Along with their free three-day money mindset accelerator course, it encouraged me to take a good hard look at my own relationship with money and, as with most things (I mean, we’re never done with self-development), it needed a little work. I’ve since joined their Money + Manifesting course and I’m feeling super fired up around the subject.
My money mindset has both strengths and weaknesses… Por ejemplo – I’m great at dreaming big, big, bigger and most of the time I’m petty good at saying what I want and then going for it – all guns blazing. I’m definitely not afraid to admit that I want financial freedom and abundance in a big way and I’m lucky enough to have been exposed to incredible wealth and opportunity in my lifetime, potentially making it feel that much closer, that much more achievable.
However, I have also spent a large chunk of my life in survival mode. It started as a kid when I would see my hardworking Mum struggle with paying bills, putting food on the table etc… I then carried this mentality on throughout my teens and twenties – ‘I just need enough to pay this months rent, I just need enough to pay for my food, bills, travel *insert bare necessity here*. It was always this desperate bid just to scrape by. At the time I would have said I was being realistic – it was important that I made those financial mini-milestones in order to keep a roof over my head but what I didn’t realise was that it was holding me back from ever really thinking beyond ‘just enough’. I was dreaming big but I definitely couldn’t see how to bridge the gap from where I was to where I wanted to be. If I’m honest, despite all my grand plans, I don’t know if I ever truly believed that being wealthy was for people ‘like me’.
I know that I’m not alone in needing (and wanting) to make a positive mindset change. No matter what our lives have looked like we all have these beliefs and thought processes, good and bad, ingrained in us from years of experience and of being influenced by those around us. We all know that life isn’t fair and it’s most certainly not a level playing field, but I truly believe that we all have unique gifts, skills and an innate ability to create more for ourselves, no matter where we’re at or what ‘more’ looks like.
Mindset is an integral part of that creative process and not just in a woo-woo ‘speak it into existence’ sort of way but in the sense that a positive, abundance based mindset allows us to see opportunities where others might not. It allows us a slither of hope that no matter how desperate our situation might currently be, that if we keep going, a change could be just around the next corner. It gives us the drive and energy to keep going even when we’ve been knocked down 10, 20, 50 times. It stops us from dwelling on everything that’s wrong and instead enables us to get laser-focused on what could go right.
Have you ever seen the film based on a true story ‘The Pursuit of Happyness’? Now THAT is an example of what someone with a positive mindset can endure and achieve. If you haven’t seen it, definitely do – just make sure you have tissues at the ready, it’s a sob fest. (My excuses felt pretty weak after watching that film, let me tell you.)
I know some of you will be reading this and thinking ‘yeah, ok but how am I supposed to feel hopeful when I’m in such a financial mess?’ I get it, I truly do. I know all too well how easy it is to feel stuck and overwhelmed by fear and uncertainty, that warm blanket of security feeling like a million miles away. I also know though, that things change. In ways that we can’t even begin to imagine. We just have to open our minds up to the possibilities that are out there, to the fact that we have the power to make a change and that tiny changes now lead to massive changes overall.
ONE – You’re constantly talking to people about how broke you are. I don’t know about you but I do this all the damn time! Even if I’m not really *that broke – it’s such a bad habit and one that was so entrenched, I did it without even realising. I’ve put a stop to it now so if you ever catch me pleading poor – (unless I really am) then you have my full permission to tell me off!
TWO – You talk about money in a negative way or, you don’t talk about it all! Whether you feel like it’s vulgar to talk about money matters or when you do talk about it, it’s all ‘money is the root of all evil’ or ‘money doesn’t buy happiness’ etc. Both traits suggest a negative money mindset and will potentially hold you back in the long run.
THREE – You overspend constantly, maxing out credit cards and living in the vicious cycle of spending and paying off – never being in a position to build some much-needed financial security. Add the volatile nature of being freelance into the mix and this is definitely me, I find it hard to save and so easy to overspend, especially right now with all the house stuff happening and my level 1000 impatience.
FOUR – The flipside to that is that you never spend any money on yourself. You always go for the reduced food items, the clothes in the sale that you’re not sure about but that ‘will do for now’, you rarely treat yourself in any way. Whilst I don’t think that the only route to happiness is through money – totally abstaining from spending on things that make us feel good, is a fairly miserable way to live and a surefire way to block the flow of money in your life.
FIVE – You think that wealth is for ‘other people’, definitely not you though. You have a slightly ‘us and them’ mentality when it comes to money. Believe me, I get you, I grew up feeling quite a bit of shame around money, about being different, about not being able to do the stuff that others got to do – which of course fostered this belief that money was just something you had or didn’t have. Some people were poor and some people were rich. I know now that whilst it certainly adds a layer of ‘complication’ for those without, we can still 100% create great wealth for ourselves.
The key thing to remember is that money is a form of energy. It comes and it goes, it’s all a flow and it’s up to us to keep that energy moving and flowing.
GET REAL HONEST – Being honest about what you want (and need) to earn is the first step and it’s key. Don’t worry about what you think is fair, or what friends or family members earn – this is about you. Don’t be afraid to admit what you want, if that’s a massive amount of cash money, brilliant! Own it! If you can’t admit what you want you’ll never be able to work towards actually having it.
RELAX – We need to relax around money. If that’s something that feels really hard for you right now, try creating a little daily ritual where you can escape the financial stress and worry for just a few moments. Listen to a guided meditation (LIKE THIS ONE) whilst holding some money or your bank cards in your hands. Maybe you say a positive affirmation around wealth. Whatever it is, try to carve out a few minutes of each day where you focus on money in a positive way.
GIVE – Another tip I would highly recommend is to give a little, it doesn’t have to be much but by giving, you’re opening yourself up to receiving. You’re unblocking that wealth channel. (It could be as simple as donating some spare change or buying a coffee for someone in need.)
QUIT THE BROKE CHAT – As mentioned above, stop telling people how broke you are, stop telling yourself how broke you are. You don’t have to lie, just don’t say it or maybe reframe it slightly – Instead of ‘I can’t afford to do that’ it could be…
‘I’m choosing to spend my money elsewhere right now.’
‘Right now that doesn’t feel possible but let me brainstorm ways that I might be able to make it happen.’
Try to avoid conversations with people where you find yourself getting sucked into negative money chat, indulging in it won’t make you feel better and it certainly won’t change the number in your bank account.
CREATE WEALTH – It’s easy to sit and feel sorry for yourself when you’re flat broke but why not channel that energy into something more helpful? Make a list of all the things that you could possibly do to bring in some money. Maybe you have some stuff you can sell? Maybe you can create something? Maybe you can teach something to someone?
I promise that if you think long and hard about this, there will be ways that you can create wealth, right now – today.
LEARN – Finally, look to expand your mind around money and wealth in any way you can, read books, watch videos, if you have the financial means to take a course (LIKE THIS ONE) or work with a coach, then definitely do so.
It’s time to level UP guys, let’s get out there and earn what we want to earn!
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